


Floriculture

by ghostiejams



Category: Auideas - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Flower Shop, Other, The Cheesiest Of Romances, i guess?? there's plants involved so it's kind of a flower shop au, it's more of a plant doctor au??? but those aren't very common so, shameless excuse for me to show off my horticulture knowledge lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-12
Updated: 2016-05-12
Packaged: 2018-06-08 01:27:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6833233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghostiejams/pseuds/ghostiejams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An alternate universe in which animals are not kept as pets, and instead, people have plants. As a result of being kept as pets, plants have evolved to be more responsive to stimuli in ways humans will understand. Mel (Dr. Flynn) is a botanist who works with sick and injured plants, like a sort of veterinarian. Em is a plant owner with a moaning pot of myrtle and a massive crush on the redheaded botanist. Cheesy romance ensues. (Based on the AuIdeas Bot-rinarian au: http://auideas.tumblr.com/post/143801766762/bot-rinarian-au )</p>
            </blockquote>





	Floriculture

**Author's Note:**

> This work is for the fic contest, like the other one (I saw that there was only one other one besides mine, and the admins deserve so much more than that!!!) Please consider voting for it if you like it, and thank you so much for reading!

Humans, in every reality, keep pets. Most realities have animals as pets, though some may have stranger companions, such as plants. In these realities, plants evolve to be more responsive to their human caretakers, more animated, some even making sounds to express pain or pleasure.

This is why Em, living in a "plant pet" reality, had a pot of loudly-moaning myrtle in the passenger seat of their car.

" _Please_ calm down, we're almost at the botanist's, if you can just hang on a little longer..."

The plant responded by reaching out a twisted, pathetic-looking leaf toward Em's arm and moaning louder.

"Yes, I _know_ , I'm _t_ _rying_  to help you but I'm _driving_  right now!" Em said, turning a corner. When they spotted the botanist's office, they gave a sigh of relief.

"Alright, you," they said, "let's see if we can't fix you up."

Sitting in the waiting room with such a loud plant was like torture. It was too big to keep in their lap, so they had it on the chair next to them. In a desperate attempt to look casual, they avoided eye contact with the people staring at them, finding temporary refuge in the outdated magazines and plant care brochures on display.

Em was relieved when their name was finally called, and made their way to the examination room as quickly as they could. They sat with their fingers in their ears, trying to find comfort in a metal folding chair that was entirely to cold and hard.

When the doctor finally came in, Em was captivated by her. She had brilliant red hair that cascaded down her shoulders and glistened in the light. Her eyes were a beautiful blue, the color of the sea. Her gaze was warm and welcoming, and she gave off the impression of someone kind and gentle. Em was enchanted.

"Yikes! Having a bad day, huh?" the botanist said upon hearing the plant's loud cries. She almost had to shout to be heard over the noise.

"What?" Em said, snapping out of their trance. "Oh. Yeah, it's been moaning like that pretty much all day."

The doctor administered a sedative to the myrtle, which quickly quieted it down.

"Much better!" the doctor said. She turned to Em and held out a hand. "I'm Doctor Melanie Flynn," she said, "but, outside the workplace, it's Mel."

Em took her hand and shook it. "Em." They said. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

Mel smiled and turned back to the plant. She inspected it all over, turning over leaves, looking at the insides of the flowers, asking questions as she went--how often was Em watering it? How much sun was it getting? Were they using fertilizer? Em did their best to answer Mel's questions, while also trying to act normal and leave a good impression. Should they crack a joke? Should they leave her to her work?

After a few minutes, Mel turned back to Em. "It looks like a boron deficiency to me," she said. "See, plants need a few 'essential elements' to function, and one of those is boron. See how the leaves are all twisted? That's a big indicator right there."

"Ah," Em said. "So...how do I fix it?"

Mel smiled and shrugged. "It's pretty easy to fix, just get a fertilizer with plenty of boron, your plant should be fine soon enough."

"Thanks," Em said.

They left the office a few moments later. Even afterward, they found themself thinking about Mel. They tried distracting themself with other things, but whenever they were unoccupied, they found their thoughts drifting back to her, how her hair looked like a gorgeous flame, how her eyes sparkled, how beautiful her smile was...

Which was why, two weeks later, Em was sitting in the same cold, metal folding chair, convincing themself thoroughly that their African Violet had been more quiet than usual lately. They chatted with Mel casually as she inspected the little plant, and they laughed and exchanged jokes. After a short time, Mel was done with her inspection.

"I can't find anything wrong with it," she said. "It's probably fine, African Violets are a naturally quiet plant, especially as they get older. Just let me know if anything else about it looks weird, okay?"

"Got it," Em said, "thanks so much."

"No problem," Mel said.

Em thought that would be enough. They thought that just one more interaction would be enough to clear their mind, but it had made their infatuation worse. So, after another two weeks, they were back in the metal folding chair, telling Mel about how their poinsettia's petals hadn't changed color to their usual bright red.

"Actually, those aren't petals, they're bracts," Mel said, "and they usually need to be in the dark to change color. Other than that, it's completely fine."

"Ah," Em said. "I see."

"Actually, you've been visiting my office a lot lately--here, let me write something down for you, I think it'll fix your problem." Mel said, taking out a pen and a sticky note. She scribbled something down on it, then gave it to Em. Em looked at the note, then started to smile. The note had a phone number written on it, and underneath, the words, "coffee? Mel."

"Thanks," Em said, laughing. "I'll call you later?"

"That sounds nice," Mel said. "Just stop bringing perfectly healthy plants to my office, okay?"

"Alright, I got it," Em said. "I'll talk to you later."

As they were leaving, though they were just walking down a mostly-empty botanists' office hallway, Em felt like they were flying. They left the botanist's office, poinsettia in hand, their mood dropping slightly as they started to consider how to tell Mel that they really preferred tea.

**Author's Note:**

> I have a tumblr! ghostie-jams.tumblr.com


End file.
